


i love (you)

by fuckingkinney



Category: Shameless (TV), Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 16:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckingkinney/pseuds/fuckingkinney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey doesn't know what it is that makes him say them back. Doesn't if it's because it causes the most intense orgasm he'll probably ever experience or if it's the water leaking out from his eyes.</p>
<p>Either way, he does and it burns the back of his throat and chokes the life out  of him until he sees coloured spots behind his eyes.</p>
<p>But he says it and he said it and he can feel Ian openly sobbing into his neck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i love (you)

It happens the first time that Ian comes back after he runs away to the army. 

Once they found out that he wasn't Lip Gallagher but had sent him out onto the front line already because he was the best that they had on short notice and wanted to do it more than anyone else.

Ian came back though, injured and bruised and ego dented which will scar him more than the fact that he almost lost an arm. Almost lost his life.

Ian didn't care, didn't even go home. Didn't want to face the look of betrayal that his brother would give him and the look of disappointment that would haunt him when he slept and wouldn't leave him alone for as long as he lived.

So instead? He avoided it, knew it would come. Of course it would.. But if he could prevent it? Ian was going to do all that he could to make sure that he did.

So he ran, ran to the place where he knew someone would want him even after all of this time. Only he wasn't there, had moved out and he spent too long trying to find the remains of the broken Milkovich that he'd left behind.

He finds him, near the edge of Southside. Closer to the Gallagher house than where his old one was.

Not that Ian cared, someone would find him regardless of how far Mickey moved away.

He knocked three times and a grunt followed before the door swung open and he looked.. He looked exactly the same and Ian didn't know why he was surprised, it'd only been a year. Only been a year and barely a few months that he was gone and it hit him as if it were less than a day.

* * *

It ends up in a situation that neither of them created nor stopped; Ian rocking into Mickey, legs wrapped around his waist and his arms bracketing the smaller man's face. 

The Milkovich's eyes are screwed shut, refusing to look at him even as he pressed his face into his neck and all but sobs out the words he's been wanting to tell him for too long.

Three small words, it shouldn't have been so hard.

It shouldn't have taken him so long.

Mickey doesn't know what it is that makes him say them back. Doesn't if it's because it causes the most intense orgasm he'll probably ever experience or if it's the water leaking out from his eyes.

Either way, he does and it burns the back of his throat and chokes the life out of him until he sees coloured spots behind his eyes.

But he says it and he said it and he can feel Ian openly sobbing into his neck.

Mickey only murmurs it again, keeps it quiet for the two of them and strokes his fingers through the growing mess of ginger hair.

* * *

Neither of them moved afterwards; didn't acknowledge the words in the air or Ian's cum dripping down Mickey's thighs as the silence grew thicker.

What was there to say? They'd said it.

They'd waited too long and Mickey knew that neither of them were going to get out of this alive now that'd they were finally out there.

He knew he couldn't snatch them out of the air and tug them close to himself, wrap his arms around the words and only allow himself to hear him. He wanted to, oh, how he wanted to. 

No one else deserved the words bestowed upon them, no one deserved to hear them be gasped out like a panic as they felt Ian tense up above him whilst he came.

Not even himself.

But Mickey was selfish, too selfish for his own good and that hadn't gotten them the good things in life before. Now though? Now he wanted it to change, needed it to change.

He couldn't do this anymore. He couldn't let Ian keep leaving him; no army, no West Point, no fucking anything.

Just him, them.

Mickey was selfish and it terrified him more than what he'd ever admit. A Milkovich was scared of nothing.

A Milkovich was scared of everything but pulled the trigger too fast to let it sink in past their skin as the blood painted it instead.

* * *

"Please tell me you meant it."

Neither of them realize who says it until they do and they just stare at each other until Mickey's features darken, pulls away from him like he'd been burnt and all but falls out of the bed to tug his clothes on. As if he's going to leave his own apartment just to get away from him..

Except Ian can't say he'd be surprised if he actually did.

"Mickey, stop. Come on.." Ian feels like he's gone back four years instead of living in the 'now'. This isn't what was meant to be happening.

But Mickey is trying to pull his tracksuit bottoms up over his ankles whilst trying not to fall over, refusing to look at him and lips in a tight line.

It takes Ian a minute to register that it actually looks like he's about to cry and then realization dawns upon him that, actually, he already is.

"Mick, come on.." He tries again, voice careful, soft as if to soothe a child as he reaches a bare arm out towards him. Barely grazes the naked skin of his hip before Mickey is rearing back and away from him.

"Don't! Don't you fuckin' _dare_! You can't just-- You can't just say that and then act like you didn't!" And Ian realizes he's being yelled at too late and Mickey only snarls at him at the lack of response. "You didn't even fuckin' mean it, did you? I just waited, like a pathetic bitch, for over a year and you! You don't even have the decency--"

He's cutting off and wincing, knuckles turning white with the grip he has on a vest he never pulled on. His eyes are turning red and glassy and his face is being pressed into the stained material, shoulders shaking and he's...

Mickey Milkovich can cry. Ian feels like he's asleep.

He doesn't realize he said as much until the other glares at him, hands furiously wiping at his face.

"I thought you were gonna go get yourself fuckin' killed! You don't understand what it's fuckin' like, Ian!"

_Ian_.

The redhead blinked and then it was tumbling out of his mouth again, desperate and in a rush as he scrambled towards the edge of the bed and he watched as Mickey glared at him. Clearly torn between wanting to hurt him or fuck him again - Ian hoped for the second, expected the first.

But instead he nodded, head moving slowly and with no confidence to it even as he pushed his boxers off his hips again and moved into the bed besides him again.

They didn't do anything, didn't say another word until Mickey let his eyes fall shut, shoulders drooping slowly as time passed on.

"I fuckin' missed you."

And Ian lets himself smile as though he doesn't still have to go home and face reality. Instead moves his fingers and pushes the hair Mickey hadn't shaved off for his 'mohawk' off his face, fingers lingering too long.

Can't get his head around how he doesn't get yelled at for doing so as Mickey practically purrs into the movement, shifting closer until his face is buried between shoulder and neck.

* * *

"I do love you, Mick." He murmurs a while later, when it's dark outside and neither of them have moved. "I love you.."

Finally lets his eyes close as the smaller of the two makes a hum of acknowledgement against his neck.

Only falls asleep after Mickey presses his lips against his throat with a graze of teeth and mutters "I love," against his skin before mouthing the "you" out silently.

Just for the two of them.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback please  
> i will love you forever xoxox


End file.
